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Permission granted: Deserving is not a future version of you

Apr 07, 2026

What’s really holding you back from investing in something you want? 

You work hard. You show up. You’ve built success through discipline and effort. 

And yet sometimes, when it comes to yourself, you hesitate. 

You wait for a milestone. A bigger win.
A future version of you who is “more deserving.” 

It’s subtle, but it’s there.
The message that you shouldn’t do something just for your own enjoyment.

We see this all the time, especially with high achieving, responsible women. You are excellent at investing in everyone else. When the investment is in you, suddenly there is a full committee meeting in your head.

“Is this necessary?”
“Is this too much?”
“Shouldn’t I wait?”
“Do I really need it anyway?”
“I should be grateful for what I already have”

This comes from an honest and loving place: you’ve spent much of your life putting everyone else at the top of the list. But somewhere along the way, perhaps you completely fell off the list. 

We know it can feel uncomfortable to practice putting yourself back on the list now. This isn’t about being impulsive or “indulgent”, it’s about allowing yourself to want things for yourself and prioritize them in your life. You can trust yourself to remain responsible and still say yes to your desires. 

You do not have to live in a constant state of deferred gratification or lack of desire. Maybe the only thing missing from a little pleasure is your own approval.

This week, notice where you are judging your own desire or waiting to feel more “deserving”.

And gently tell yourself: “I already am deserving”

 

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