A different kind of gift guide: The joy is yours to keep

Jan 30, 2025

Ever notice how we turn gift-giving into a performance review? Let’s be honest, as doctor moms we do this for many things in our lives.

We wrap the "perfect" gift, stage the "perfect" moment, and then... wait anxiously for the reaction that will determine if we succeeded. Like we're contestants on "America's Got Gift-Giving Talent" and the judges are our own kids.

The ease giving unfolds when your joy isn't dependent on their response - it's already complete in the act of giving itself.

Remember those times when you've been genuinely excited to give something? Maybe it was something homemade. Maybe it was a beautifully heartfelt card. Maybe it was the gift of your time. The theme is, your focus was on the joy you felt in offering a gift to someone you care about.

When you're desperately hoping your gift will be a “winner”, ask yourself what it is that you are really looking for. Are you worried that your kids are short on joy? Are you looking to be the person that knows them the best? Are you worried that your kids will be disappointed in you?

The magic shows up when you choose gifts - whether they're wrapped in paper or wrapped in your presence - because the very act of giving them fills you with delight. Remember, it’s impossible to be in charge of other peoples’ thoughts and feelings, we can only manage our own!

Joy that comes from giving itself is contagious. There's something authentic and magnetic about genuine delight that no perfectly curated gift can match.

This holiday season, before you add another item to your cart, pause and notice: Does giving this bring you joy? Not "Will they love it?" or "Should I get this?" Just: "Do I feel delight in giving this?"

When you find that genuine joy in giving, you've given two gifts: one to them, and one to yourself.

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A different kind of gift guide: The joy is yours to keep

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