Are you a compliment crusher? How accepting praise can strengthen both your confidence and connections
Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable it can feel to receive a compliment?
Someone says, “That was an excellent diagnosis you made,” and you instinctively respond, “Oh, it was just luck.”
Or a colleague tells you, “Your presentation at the department meeting was so clear and helpful,” and you brush it off with, “I don’t know, I felt like I was rambling.”
Or a friend says, “You’re such a patient and loving mother,” and you counter with, “You should have seen me yesterday—I totally lost my cool.”
Why do we do this?
For many of us, compliments trigger an internal conflict. Maybe we’ve been taught that accepting praise is arrogant. Maybe the kind words don’t match the critical way we see ourselves, and we feel compelled to correct the “mistake.” Or maybe we worry that if we accept a compliment, we’ll be expected to live up to that standard all the time.
Interestingly, research shows that receiving a compliment activates the same reward centers in the brain as receiving a monetary gift. Praise is valuable—not just socially, but neurologically. And yet, we so often refuse it.
What if we shifted our mindset?
Instead of seeing compliments as something to dodge or downplay, we can view them as genuine gifts—reflections of how others see us. When someone offers kind words, they’re sharing their real experience of us. Dismissing it doesn’t just undermine our own worth—it also dismisses them.
So here’s a challenge for this week: When someone compliments you, don’t follow the urge to deflect. Try a simple, gracious response instead:
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
No qualifiers. No minimizing. Just genuine acceptance.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, you’ll notice something powerful—receiving praise well isn’t just about you. It’s about allowing connection, honoring the giver, and reinforcing the truth of your own worth.
What compliments might come your way this week? And how will it feel to let them in?
