Click, pause, parent: How one strategic wod can reset your brain before responding to kid chaos

You’re sitting there, peacefully ticking things off your to-do list—maybe sipping some lukewarm coffee (hey, we’re all about multitasking). Then, suddenly, you hear it: the unmistakable sound of your kids fighting in the other room.

“Here we go again”, right? The instinct is to rush in, ready to end it. But when we don’t take a moment to pause first, we bring in our own irritation, frustration, impatience, resentment. And that doesn’t actually help anyone, not our kids who need our calm presence, and not our true selves who want to show up calmly ready to assist in conflict resolution.

But how do we cue our brain to take that pause when our primitive brain tells us we have to rush into the fire?  

We’ve all been told to “take a deep breath,” but that can be really hard at a time like this. Well, we bet you never thought we’d bring up a dog training technique, but this is an idea that can actually help your brain in these moments. 

Choose a “clicker” word to mark moments like these. Think of it like dog training for yourself—your word cues your brain to stop and reset before you dive into reactionary responses.

For example, Tracy uses “Uh oh.” It might sound a bit negative at first, but it’s said in a more curious tone that is a mental signal saying, "take a deep breath and get ready to parent.” It allows a momentary pause to switch gears from the current task, bypass the annoyance at the interruption, and shift into intentional parenting. 

If you’re not sold on “uh oh,” here are three other simple “clicker” word examples that can create space for you to reset before you react (or create your own!):

1. “Whoops” – A lighthearted word that says, “It’s okay, let’s handle this with ease.”

2. “Alright” – A straightforward way to tell yourself you’ve got this. 

3. “Mom time” – Simple and directs your brain where you want it to go.

So, next time you hear the chaos, instead of charging in with energy that might not serve anyone, use your word to take a pause, reset, and show up for your kids in the way you really want.