Free Your Thoughts: When you judge your thoughts, you lose the ability to change them

Have you ever noticed how quickly you move from having a thought that doesn’t serve you to judging yourself for having that thought?

This is what we call a "thought model on a thought model" (aka “model on model” for short), and it’s often the invisible barrier slowing your personal growth.

First, you experience a neutral circumstance - maybe you have 10 unfinished charts at the end of your week. This may not feel neutral, but we assure you that it is!

Your thought might be, "I don't have time for this." This creates a feeling of overwhelm, which leads to an action of procrastination and a result of those charts remaining unfinished.

That's your first thought model at work. 

What happens next is that this entire thought model becomes a new circumstance. Your brain interprets that circumstance, creating a model on model about it.  

"I'm so much worse than my colleagues at managing my charting time."

This second-level thought drives a feeling of shame. And what does shame do? It makes you feel defeated and leads you to avoid the very thing you want to address.

Think of it like a puzzle you're trying to solve. Your initial thought pattern is puzzling enough, but when you layer judgment on top, it's like wrapping the entire puzzle in saran wrap - you can't even touch the pieces to begin solving it.

The key isn't to immediately change your first thought pattern. It's to remove the saran wrap of judgment first.

When you notice yourself thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way" or "I'm a bad person for thinking that," give yourself a moment. Those thoughts can be cues that you're in a model on model pattern.

Instead of judgment, practice curiosity. "Interesting - I'm having this thought."

Without the layer of shame or guilt, you can access your original thoughts and feelings with the curiosity they deserve and the freedom to adjust them.