How to tolerate difficult people: A simple hack to lower your blood pressure
We all have at least one person in our lives who can raise our blood pressure in under five seconds.
Sometimes without even saying anything.
Just the email. The attitude. Their existence.
It feels like there’s no option but to feel angry or annoyed by them at all times unless they can change, which of course we have no control over.
We have a crazy idea though…what if it were possible to trade that fuming feeling with the calmer feeling of empathy?
Empathy is not only something you give to others.
While empathy can drive an action, it can also just be a feeling you can choose to create for yourself, with your own thoughts, because it feels better than annoyance or anger. A sort of “distant empathy”.
Anger and irritation are draining. They take up a surprising amount of energy.
Empathy, when felt this way, is lighter.
It can be created with thoughts like, “Something in them is pretty uncomfortable if this is how they move through the world” or “They must be really struggling with something to make them so prickly.”
These types of thoughts don't excuse their behavior, they simply create less anger in your body. It doesn’t mean you tolerate poor treatment or stop having boundaries. And it definitely doesn’t mean you need to express empathy to them or try to fix anything.
It simply shifts how you feel when you have to interact with them.
Empathy, in this sense, isn’t about being generous to them, it’s about being kind to yourself.
It lets someone’s behavior become less personal, less charged, and more neutral in your life. It makes it easier to be around that difficult person in your life.
And that usually feels a lot better than carrying irritation around all day.
