Riding the Wave of Urges (without drowning): They feel compelling in the moment, but urges don't control you

That urge to check your phone during dinner? The pull toward the break room donuts after a difficult patient encounter? The voice telling you to scroll social media when you have five minutes between patients?

These desires feel so compelling in the moment. The demand feels so strong that acting on it feels like a foregone conclusion.  

But experiencing an urge doesn't mean you will act on it.

Urges are like waves washing onto shore. They build, they peak, and then – if we allow them to exist without fighting or following them – they naturally recede. No wave stays at its peak forever.

When we reflexively respond to every urge, we create a strong feedback loop. Each time we check that phone or grab that donut when the feeling strikes, we're carving a deeper path in our brain that says "this feeling must be followed by this action." The urge becomes more insistent and more frequent. 

You're already skilled at allowing urges without answering them in many areas. When you feel exhausted but don't lie down on your office couch during clinic hours. When your phone buzzes during a patient conversation but you don't check it. When you have the urge to correct someone’s grammar in casual conversation, but you hold your tongue. 

These moments aren't about deprivation or white-knuckling through discomfort. They're quiet demonstrations of your freedom to choose.

This week, try this three-step practice when an urge arises:

1. Notice where you feel it in your body. Is there tightness in your chest? A flutter in your stomach? Simply observe the physical sensation.

2. Name it without judgment: "I'm noticing an urge to check my email right now."

3. Allow it to be there, like a wave passing through. You don't have to fight it or follow it.

You might be surprised how quickly the sensation transforms when you don't get swept up in its story. The urge doesn't disappear immediately – that's not the goal. The victory is in recognizing that you can coexist with an urge without being controlled by it.