The field trip, the earache, and the real win: Writing your own parenting rubric
We’ve all had those moments where we mentally dock ourselves points on some invisible parenting scorecard.
Missed a school event. Raised our voices. Forgot the extra pair of socks. Again.
But here’s something we’ve been thinking about lately:
You write your own parenting rubric.
So… why does it so often feel like you’re being graded by some impossible foreign grading system.
Last week, Tracy chaperoned her youngest daughter’s field trip, the first in three years (but no guilt for that!). It started off great—until about ten minutes in when her daughter started complaining that her ear hurt again. That sinking feeling hit: Tracy’s not the mom that travels with the Mary Poppins carpet bag of supplies.
It would have been easy to start the self-judgment cycle- “I should be more prepared.” “I knew her ear was hurting last night.” “She’s going to be miserable and I could have prevented it.”
But Tracy paused. And instead of shaming herself, she showed up with what was in her bag: empathy. She validated how crummy it feels to be on a bus, in the cold, ears aching, surrounded by noise. She listened, she held her daughter’s hand, she did what she always does in that kind of moment.
And she had her own back.
Because her rubric for being the kind of mom she wants to be isn’t about having a perfectly stocked bag. It’s about being present, being attuned, and responding with love—even when things don’t go as planned.
What if you stopped grading yourself on all the outside pressures? What would you put on your own parenting rubric? If you’re not sure, that’s okay too. One way to find your answers is to think about when you feel really good as a mom- what is going on in those moments? For some of you it might be having the Mary Poppins bag!
You’re the one writing the rubric. Let it reflect your values—not your fears, not your neighbor’s Pinterest board, not some imaginary parenting judge.
This will free you up to own your version of parenting with less guilt and angst. So you can enjoy that field trip, if you ever get to go on one!
