Time for your emotions to get a new job description: How to demote your feelings from commander to consultant
Your feelings are messengers bringing you data, not directors telling you what to do.
When we act on emotions as if they're commands, we often find ourselves in a cycle that limits our choices. We might snap at our children because we're frustrated, missing a chance to model emotional awareness. We might avoid a situation because of anxiety, closing the door to potential connection or growth. We might make decisions from a place of overwhelm rather than alignment with our values.
Unexamined emotions can drive unintentional actions that can take us away from our desired outcomes.
But there's another way.
When emotions arise, stop, name the emotions, and ask yourself, "What information is this feeling trying to give me?"
Many of us in our community have found this especially powerful with parenting. Instead of letting frustration drive our responses, we can pause to listen to what that frustration is telling us. Maybe it's signaling a missed boundary that needs setting, a need that isn't being met, or even exhaustion from other areas of our life.
Each time you notice a strong emotion today, take a beat and reflect. You might be surprised by the wisdom your emotions hold when you treat them as messengers rather than dictators. This practice creates space for thoughtful, intentional responses that strengthen our relationships and connect us to our values.
As Victor Frankl, Holocaust survivor, wrote:
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.
