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Hidden gifts in the missing moments: Connection and other benefits of your choices
"I missed another field trip." "Everyone thinks the nanny is their mom." "I don't even know my child's gymnastics coach's name." Sound familiar? Those ruminations about feeling absent are really painful.  But today, let's look at this differently. What if you're not giving them less - but giving ...
Mar 11, 2025
Breaking up with "I Am": Your "I am" statements may be causing side effects...
Let's talk about two tiny words that are shaping your entire identity: "I am." As physicians, we're trained to be precise with our language. Yet when it comes to our emotions, we often use language that boxes us in. "I am stressed." "I am overwhelmed." "I am anxious." We all do this many times a ...
Mar 05, 2025
To some of the least "selfish" women ever: Your guilt's understanding of selfish is truly questionable
That pang of guilt when you head out to book club, leaving your partner with bedtime duties. The voice that whispers "selfish" when you even briefly consider a sick day or say no to that leadership role you are certain you don’t want. Let's talk about what selfish really means, shall we? Selfishn...
Mar 05, 2025
Bye-Bye Bessie- A Story of Letting Go: Ancient wisdom for the modern physician mom's mental load
Have you heard of the Buddhist story of the cattle farmer?  Each night, he would spend hours counting his cows, checking the fences, and worrying about protecting his herd. During the day, his mind was consumed with thoughts of his cows' safety. He couldn't sleep, couldn't relax, and couldn't foc...
Mar 05, 2025
Truth's role in your thinking: The selective demands we put on proof (and how it messes with our minds)
Ever notice how we're basically fortune tellers when it comes to predicting doom, but suddenly need a PhD in statistics to believe anything good might happen? One B- grade and we've already mapped out our kid's entire future: living in our basement at 30, all because of that chemistry midterm. Me...
Feb 13, 2025
When good mom words go bad- Wait...now I can't say "do your best"?
We’re all type-A doctor mamas and can’t help but feel good when our kids bring home a top-notch report card. Yet, we fear that the pressure we have felt will be passed to the next generation.  And so we’re working on shifting from gunner moms to “just do your best” moms. Sounds like this has to b...
Feb 13, 2025
Expert witness rules for life: The verdict is in..."no" is more than sufficient
You’re prepping for your side gig as an expert witness. The attorney not-so-gently reminds you to use your 2-word vocabulary… expert witnesses on the stand are most powerful with a simple "yes" or "no."  No explanations. No stories. No justifications. We know, it’s so tempting to overexplain how ...
Jan 30, 2025
Time for your emotions to get a new job description: How to demote your feelings from commander to consultant
Your feelings are messengers bringing you data, not directors telling you what to do. When we act on emotions as if they're commands, we often find ourselves in a cycle that limits our choices. We might snap at our children because we're frustrated, missing a chance to model emotional awareness. ...
Jan 30, 2025
Casting call- your true character: The plot points your inner critic keeps editing out
Picture this: You're scrolling Netflix and suddenly see a movie about your life. You click to read the description, curious how they'd sum up your character in two sentences. Would they lead with "She's a hot-mess"? Or would they write something like: "A dedicated physician who manages to care fo...
Jan 30, 2025
Stop letting your to-do list shame you: How to transform task management from stressful to intentional
Happy New Year!  How is the start of your 2025 going? Is your to-do list already piling up? If you're like most of us, you probably started January with fresh hopes of getting organized, only to find yourself already overwhelmed. Your to-do list might be causing more stress than success. It almos...
Jan 30, 2025
A different kind of gift guide: The joy is yours to keep
Ever notice how we turn gift-giving into a performance review? Let’s be honest, as doctor moms we do this for many things in our lives.  We wrap the "perfect" gift, stage the "perfect" moment, and then... wait anxiously for the reaction that will determine if we succeeded. Like we're contestants ...
Jan 30, 2025
A boost from Juliette: Finding sanity in 60-second breaks (even if it means hiding in your closet)
I once sat on my closet floor with the door locked while my daughter stood outside having a full preschooler meltdown about bedtime. Okay, it was more than once.  I can still remember feeling myself about to snap - that moment when you know if you don't step away, words might come out that you do...
Jan 30, 2025
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